


She, Invictus

by OliviaTheCat



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Female Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Male-Female Friendship, Women Being Awesome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:07:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22260793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OliviaTheCat/pseuds/OliviaTheCat
Summary: 'The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.'-Carl Gustav JungOr, as Darcy'd like to put it, here's how she became friends with two walking human disasters and learned the true definition of 'chaotic good'.
Relationships: Clint Barton/Darcy Lewis, Darcy Lewis & Natasha Romanov, Jane Foster & Darcy Lewis
Comments: 32
Kudos: 147





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A million thanks to my wonderful beta @norelica (Tumblr ) for all her help.  
> Also, to @multifacetedfangirl (Tumblr) for her advice.

**New Mexico, 2011**

The sound of the roof’s door opening woke up Darcy from her nap in the lab’s couch with a start. Checking the time on her phone, she realized she had been asleep for an hour and a half, her neck already stiff from the awkward position she had been in. This time, getting Jane to sleep hadn’t been as difficult as other nights, so Darcy was hoping the astrophysicist wasn’t suddenly up again,wandering across the roof like she normally did when an idea was stuck in her head. 

Darcy wouldn’t be surprised if that were the case, as Jane had developed a sudden habit of going to the roof at the most random times of the day. She mentally prepared herself to coax Jane to go to her room again, and hopefully get some sleep in her own bed before SHIELD agents came in the morning. They had received a letter earlier that day, asking Jane and Erik to act as consultants after most of the town had been torn to pieces by The Destroyer. Both scientists were reluctant to work with SHIELD, but they knew there really was no other option. 

Not bothering to turn on the lights, she stepped into the lab and climbed the only set of stairs that led to the roof, using only her cellphone as a source of light. 

“Alright, Jane. It’s sleepy time for -” Darcy stopped in her tracks, realizing that the figure sitting in one of the lawn chairs was definitely not Jane. 

"You are not Jane," Darcy stated, suddenly wishing she had brought her taser with her. “Who the hell are you?” 

The man stood up with a smooth movement, his strong figure evident even in the dark. “Agent Barton, I’m with SHIELD.”

She pointed the cellphone flashlight at his face, making him squint in annoyance. She faintly remembered his face, having seen him once or twice during the security sweeps SHIELD made through Jane’s lab. 

The man in question remained quiet for a few more seconds before asking, "Foster's intern, right?" 

"Are you here with Secret Agent Man?"

"Who?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Son of Coul, Agent iPod Thief."

Barton rolled his eyes at her, his face betraying exactly how he felt about the stubborn girl who never failed to mention said iPod and her precious playlists. 

"Yeah, we'll be here for clean-up." 

“At three in the morning?” She asked skeptically. 

“I am here as your security detail,” Agent Barton explained, clearly hoping that her questioning would end soon. 

“Okay, I believe that. Coulson did mention something like that yesterday.” Darcy yawned and wandered to the stairs, intending to go back to the warmth of the lab. “And do you have to be on the roof at all times, or can you be our security detail from inside for a bit?”

“Weren’t you asleep?” He inquired, sounding way too alert for someone who was awake at this hour.

“If you think I’ll leave someone here in this cold ass night, you are sorely mistaken,” Darcy narrowed her eyes suspiciously at the agent. “Come on, Agent. You can take the couch for a bit. I’ll even make some coffee.”

He shifted his weight from one foot to another, but his resolve crumbled when a particularly chilly breeze passed by them. “Alright, you got me there,” he said with a small smirk, heading back inside just a step behind Darcy. 

Both settled down quietly, sipping their respective cups and clearly lost in their own thoughts. A few moments dragged by before Darcy decided to break the silence.

“I still haven’t gotten my iPod back.”

“I’ll make sure to tell Coulson that,” he snorted softly, clearly amused. 

“You do that, and there’ll be more of this,” she offered while placing a slice of pecan pie in front of him. 

“Are you trying to bribe me, kid?”

“Is it working?” 

***

That was the very start of a very weird friendship in Darcy’s books. 

After the messy events that had marked her stay in New Mexico, she was sure it was the best outcome she could think of. 

In the following weeks, their lives were filled with reports while SHIELD supervised the reconstruction of Puente Antiguo. The efforts made to mitigate the disaster that had happened in the small town just a few days ago were admirable, as reconstruction began almost immediately. Construction equipment could be seen coming in and out of the small town every day. 

The press had little to report besides a ‘chemical spill’ near the town center. SHIELD had done its job covering up the story quite convincingly, making all the local press tell the same story over and over again. People quickly lost interest in the news, and the few who had witnessed the attack were under airtight NDAs so there was no chance of information being leaked.

Agents barged in and out of their lab at all times with one request or another, annoying Jane every time someone decided to ‘borrow’ a piece of equipment under the pretense of the cooperation agreement between herself and SHIELD. 

Erik’s shoulders remained tense and his humor didn’t improve even the slightest bit as the days passed by. More often than not Darcy would catch the man muttering under his breath about shady government agents and how he could disappear at any moment now that SHIELD was involved.

To her utter surprise, Darcy had managed to make some friends amongst the jack booted thugs stationed around them. After their initial encounter, Barton wasn’t half-bad company and she even started to look forward to their shared sleepless nights trying to snark each other off. 

“So,” Darcy said by way of greeting. “Are you coming over, or what?”

Barton looked down from his post on the roof. “Where?”

“You, us, and as much meat as we can eat.”

If Darcy’s grandmother had taught her anything about making friends, it clearly was that a meal was a sure way to start bonding with someone. Agent Coulson, Son of Coul, as Thor had charmingly named him, was surprisingly fun to be around. As for Barton, he instantly took over the grill and kept everyone entertained with one crazy story after another, making Coulson’s eyes twitch every few minutes. 

***

Darcy knew her days as Jane’s intern were officially running out. 

The calendar on her desk showed the exact date she was supposed to return to her dorm, the day highlighted in bright yellow, accompanied by a pink sticky note reminding her to book a flight. But, deep down she knew she was not going back. 

The sheer amount of NDA’s that were forced upon Darcy really limited the options she had. Once everything was wrapped up and her internship was over, she had planned to go back to school and work on her thesis. Said project was now very much postponed by the clauses she had had to sign, and the only thing she had to look forward to was the ‘job’ offered by SHIELD as a lab manager accompanying Jane and her research to their facilities. 

_You’ve seen too much_ , was the only explanation she had been offered. 

She wanted to understand why she was being dragged into this, but it didn’t make sense in her head. Jane’s research was way out of her field, so she figured out SHIELD would just let her go with a warning and enough paperwork to last a lifetime. 

Darcy shook off the feelings of unease running up her spine after she finished signing her contract, deciding to look at the bright side of things. Thanking her stars for the computer science minor she had decided on a whim after her first semester, she could only hope everything would turn out okay. 

“Jane,” Darcy’s voice carried through the lab. “It’s packing time!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A million thanks to my wonderful beta @norelica (Tumblr) for all her help.  
> Also, to @multifacetedfangirl (Tumblr) for her advice.

**New York, 2012**

Moving to New York hadn’t been as easy as Darcy would have liked. 

She was still reluctant after the stunt SHIELD had pulled in New Mexico, which had shown her exactly how powerful and resourceful the organization was. The lab was packed and ready to go in less than a day, leaving them to only worry about their personal belongings and the research journals and equipment both scientists had refused to let out of their sight. 

As much as both scientists complained, Darcy was grateful for not having to worry about packing the equipment on top of everything else. Still, she made sure to label everything and warn all the agents against messing with their filling system. After she was done, a rainbow of colorful sticky notes littered the place. 

Once in New York, their first night was spent setting up a makeshift office in Jane’s apartment. Erik had been roped into a different project, something about energy sources, so they were busy classifying and organizing everything. What had started as two giant piles labeled ‘Jane’ and ‘Erik’ was now sorted into different boxes, ready to be delivered into their respective labs in the morning.

“What do we do now?” Erik asked from his spot on the couch, still holding what looked like a pile of frayed circuits in one hand.

“We order some food and then we pack everything.” Jane said while helping Darcy close one of the last boxes.

Darcy laughed, shooting Jane an incredulous look.

“Did you just ask for a break, Miss Sleep-is-for-the-weak?”

***

It was days before she had time to settle in the small studio apartment SHIELD had set up for her.

Her trips to the local thrift stores left her with some nice knick-knacks, making the space look definitely homier and giving the bland basics a much needed pop of color. Now, a cheerful-looking potted plant greeted her from the living room window, the greenery breathing life into the new environment. New cushions and her favorite quilt were placed on the couch, nicely complementing the faded golden frames of her favorite family photos. 

***

Jane’s research began to take shape after their first week of setting everything up and attending the mandatory seminars SHIELD enforced on all the new recruits. After setting up their credentials and security clearance, it was clear they couldn’t move around much. They were free, however, to roam the lower levels where all the labs and common areas were. 

That didn’t keep her from visiting Agent Coulson in his office from time to time. 

“ ‘Fess up, Agent. I know you have it.” 

“And how did you come across this information, Miss Lewis?” Coulson used what Darcy liked to call his ‘agent voice’, face as neutral as ever.

“Typical,” she grumbled, looking up as she retrieved some of the forms she had given him to sign over. “I bluff and you go all Agent on me.”

“It’s my job, Miss Lewis.”

“Is it?” Darcy grinned and pushed an unruly dark hair out of her eyes. “I thought you ‘borrowed equipment’ too.”

“All in a day’s work, Miss Lewis,” he added, a bit of humor hanging on the corner of his eyes. 

***

For her part, Darcy tried her best to blend in her new work environment. 

She already had made friends with some of the staff from the other labs, earning herself a standing invitation to join their weekly outings. Lab 7 and 10 were the most fun, the biochemists and physicists got along surprisingly well. Although Darcy was a political science major, she felt welcome and fit right in with her nerdy jokes and cult movies knowledge. 

She even got Jane to come a few times, insisting they needed a night off after working non-stop all week. Their working hours were as crazy as ever, sometimes not even leaving the lab for a full day. 

Knowing today was one of those days, she mentally prepared herself for another sleepless night at SHIELD. 

“Darcy! You have to see this!” Jane called, an extremely excited edge to her voice. “Look!” A grin lit up her face while she showed her the blinking numbers on her computer screen.

“Are those the new readings?” She asked, surprising herself by actually being able to interpret what was on the screen. The data received from SHIELD’s satellites would hopefully help them understand more about the stellar event leading up to Thor’s arrival. 

“Yes!” Jane practically bounced on the balls of her feet, clearly excited. “We’ll have to replicate the experiments a few times just to be sure, but so far it looks great!”

“Alright, Janey,” Darcy nodded eagerly. “How about we grab some coffee while we wait?”

**

Her free time and energy, what limited she had left running around after Jane all day, was spent wandering the streets of the city.

Barton,  _ Clint,  _ had provided her with a very useful list of the best places to visit. From little holein-the-wall joints to truly magnificent sights, he had easily listed off at least a hundred places he was sure she’d love. 

They had talked a few weeks before over the phone, discussing the general details of the transfer Jane was doing. And even before that, though not frequently, they texted quite a lot and soon developed an easy friendship over the phone. 

He made her promise not to visit his favorite pizza place without him, insisting on the necessity of watching her face when she tasted the best classic cheese pizza New York had to offer. 

“Don’t think I won’t know if you go!” 

“There are twenty-six places listed here!”

“So?” He shot back. “I have eyes  _ everywhere. _ ”

“You are weird, Barton.”

“Am I?” He asked, Darcy could practically hear the grin in his voice. “Takes one to know one, y’know.”

She couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her lips, relishing in the lighthearted tone of their conversation.

***

Ten days after their last conversation, he showed up at her fire escape and knocking on her living room window. The damned thing was stuck shut and she had to throw her entire body weight into yanking it open before it finally gave in.

“Was the door really that far away?” she asked, stepping back to let him in. 

“Nah, couldn’t be bothered to knock.” He climbed through into her small apartment.

Once he stepped into the light of her apartment, she could spot a few small cuts and bruises on his face and arms. A hastily wrapped bandage around his left bicep hid a larger cut, probably from a sharp blade.

“You okay?” She asked softly, her eyes assessing his injuries quickly.

“Yep,” he shrugged, a small wince curling his lips.

“Would you like me to clean those up?” She gestured to her own face. 

His hesitation was evident, but he conceded reluctantly in the end. Clint perched awkwardly on one of the kitchen stools, looking at his surroundings with an air of curiosity.

She bolted to her bathroom where she stored her first aid kit, nearly tripping herself on the small rug she had picked up. 

Iodine solution and fresh gauze were the first items she grabbed from the open box, blinking away the sudden moisture in her eyes at the sudden memories that came to the front of her mind.

Slowly cleaning up the wounds and covering them with band-aids kept her hands busy while Clint ranted about his day and how it was a shame he’d have to file so many reports after this mission. Humoring him, Darcy teased him and kept the conversation going.

Finishing up his face, she decided to work on his arm, but not without asking him first.

“How do you know how to stitch a stab wound anyway?”

“Nana Lewis was a nurse,” she explained, a sad smile on her lips. “She made sure I could stitch someone up like nobody’s business since I was twelve.”

Her grandmother, a nurse, had made sure to teach Darcy some very handy skills like treating minor wounds and illness. Wrapping bandages and suturing wounds came as second nature to her, having committed to memory all the lessons Nora Lewis taught her over the years.

Darcy worked on the wound slowly, making sure the skin was knit back together correctly.

“It wasn’t that bad, admit it.”

Her ‘I seriously can’t believe you said that’ look was enough to shut him up for a few minutes. Darcy couldn’t stop herself from bundling him over to the couch and wrapping him in her faded yellow quilt to fight off the cold his skin held from being outside for so long.

“Be right back. Don’t you dare move,” she mock-threatened, and stepped into the kitchen to prepare tea – her grandmother’s special relaxing mix. She also placed a plate of buttered scones she had baked yesterday evening for Jane, in case he was hungry.

“Everything okay?” she couldn’t help herself from asking once she returned to his side.

“Yeah, kid. Just a little beat up.”

That’s the last thing he said before quietly sipping his tea. She sat by him, patiently waiting for him to open up. She didn’t pressure him; Darcy knew he would talk if he wanted to. 

“There was a mission. Sex trafficking near the border,” he slowly started. “I shouldn’t tell you about it, but…”

“All the victims were young women,” he continued after a few quiet moments to gather his thoughts. He didn’t need to explain more. Darcy knew that was a particularly sore spot for Clint. 

“Oh, Clint...” 

“I posed as a buyer,” he started. “I was so disgusted with everything… they brought me a catalogue, like I was at a damn store... I almost blew the entire op right then and there, Darcy.” 

But he wasn’t done talking about this mission. “They had the girls in this kind of cells, all dressed up and drugged, I was so mad, but the worst part was the look in their eyes. They didn’t even blink when we began opening the cells.” He let out a raspy breath. “I haven’t felt so powerless in a while.”

“Look Clint, you did what you had to do.” She cradled his hands in hers. “I’m sorry you had to go through something like that.”

An arm snaked around her waist and squeezed lightly before a kiss dropped on her forehead. “You and me both, Darce,” he sighed.

“My partner went dark for a while. She needed a break after this.”

“And when will I get the chance to meet this partner of yours?” Darcy asked, using this as an opportunity to change subjects. Clint quickly caught on and did his best to give her a half smirk in return. 

“It depends, Darcy.”

“On what?” She tilted her head to the right, trying to give him her best puppy dog eyes.

“On whether or not you are afraid of spiders.”

“What kind of answer is that?” She furrowed her brow, confused.

“You’ll see Darce. All in due time.”


	3. Chapter 3

**New York, 2012**

Darcy’s seventh month in New York began much like the others. Things at work were mostly cut and dry, with the occasional small fire in the lab and the endless pile of forms that seemed to grow like fungus on her desk. 

Clint’s visits became more regular with time. They spent their time inside watching movies or roaming the streets in search for the best views the city could offer. 

In the time they shared Darcy discovered Clint was surprisingly clumsy for a spy. Coffee stains were his go-to look, and whenever Darcy cooked something for them he’d often drop food on himself by pure accident. Still, she was not fooled by this act he had created for himself, knowing he was ten times more capable than he appeared to be.

He was skilled and clumsy and secretly liked Dog Cops, and whenever he smiled his eyes would crinkle adorably in a way that told her how much time he spent under the sun. 

***

“Darcy?” A quiet voice came from her living room. She had just finished getting ready for bed and was about to turn off the lights in her bedroom. She exited her room quickly, leaving her bedroom door slightly ajar,

“Hey!” she said quietly, turning on the lights.

“I brought a friend. Do you mind? We can still go if it’s too much.” Clint glanced down, and just then she noticed that the shadows behind him were actually a person. Said person was clearly hurt if the expression of pain was anything to go by, eyebrows twisted into a deep frown. 

The woman standing behind Clint was strikingly beautiful, even covered in grime, her red hair shining brightly in the dim light of her small apartment.

“Of course not! Please, make yourselves comfortable.” 

Settling on the couch, Clint and the woman sat side by side. The archer placed a reassuring hand on her knee, silently telling her to relax.

“There’s no need. It’s nothing bad,” the woman said while sitting up.

“Aww, Nat. Don’t be like that,” Clint argued. “Darcy, this stubborn lady here is Agent Natasha Romanoff.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Agent Romanoff. Would you like me to look at your arm?” Darcy knelt by the couch and greeted Natasha with a small smile. 

It was obvious that Natasha was unused to being seen in a vulnerable state, even less so by a complete stranger that Darcy was at the moment. A strange look crossed her face, as if assessing any possible way Darcy could be a threat to them. 

“I won’t do anything you are uncomfortable with. But it would be easier for you to move around if I stitched that. Clint’s friends are mine too, y’know,” she rambled on. The brunette was trying her best to look as unthreatening as possible, not that it was a difficult thing to do in her blue kitten pajamas and fuzzy cardigan.

“Nat, let her take a look at you,” Clint shared a meaningful look with the redhead, who remained silent but gave the smallest of nods, accepting the offered help. 

She easily shrugged off the black top she was wearing, displaying an equally dark sports bra and a large bloodied wound, unceremoniously covered in gauze.

“I already took care of the shards of glass,” she offered, in the same bland tone one would talk about the weather. “It just needs a few stitches.” 

“I really don’t know what Clint told you about me, but I am not a doctor,” Darcy said.

A quick flicker of amusement crossed her eyes, “I was led to believe you were a rather competent field medic,” she answered, tilting her head in Clint’s direction. 

Darcy’s eyebrows rose in surprise, already threading the sterilized needle and cleaning the wound with fresh boiled water and iodine solution. 

“I still believe the med bay is a better option, but thanks for the vote of confidence,” the brunette muttered quietly before pushing the needle as gently as possible through the agent’s skin. Surprised at the lack of reaction, she continued to stitch as quickly and as precisely as possible, careful not to leave any raised skin to avoid nasty scarring. 

“See?” Clint asked after she finished wrapping up her kit and disposed of the dirty gauze. “I told you.” 

Rolling her eyes, the woman ignored him while putting on the loose sweater Darcy procured from her closet. 

“Would you like to take something for the pain?” Darcy asked. “I have some basic stuff here, if you want.”

“I’m fine. Thank you,” the woman said, her tone serious but not unkind.

“You are welcome, Agent Romanoff.” 

“Natasha, please,” The redhead held her gaze for a second, her green eyes piercing.

“Darcy,” she replied softly after a pause, a shy smile painting her lips. 

***

That was the first and only time she saw Natasha in a less than perfect state. 

Over the next few weeks Darcy saw more and more of the red headed spy, each time punctuated by her sharp gaze following her around, as if trying to assess her every move. At work Natasha’d linger around the break room just a second longer than necessary, and Darcy knew she only saw the occasional glimpse of red in the hallways because Nastasha wanted her to.

Then, the rare encounter at SHIELD Headquarters became movie nights in her apartment with the company of their favorite archer. 

The first few times were a little bit awkward.

Darcy didn’t want to invade her personal space, so she’d do her best to arrange the cushions in the living room to give each one a little bit of personal space. Clint, being as tactile as he was, sat with his feet thrown across Natasha’s lap and his head on Darcy’s shoulder. 

And while at first the spy focused her gaze on Darcy’s movements, she eventually began to relax and pay full attention to whatever was playing on the TV. Eventually the tension around her shoulders relaxed and the smiles she shared became more sincere and easy.

“Oh,” Darcy’s delighted tone cut through the silence of the lab one morning. “Is that for me?”

“Someone dropped it off a few minutes ago, said it was special delivery,” Jane answered elbow-deep into what looked like a giant telescope.

A small package placed precariously on top of a pile of folders greeted Darcy, who couldn’t resist the urge to tear the paper apart and peek at the contents. 

Inside, the gray sweater she had insisted Natasha wear after her injury was tended to in her apartment many nights ago rested, and when she lifted it something else fell from the small box. 

A small plastic spider to be precise, making her giggle silently at the cartoonish appearance of the toy. 

It gave Darcy the same feeling as when a cat decided to bring small insects into the house, bringing her ‘prey’ back into a safe place for one to keep. 

And maybe, just maybe, this googly eyed spider was their first step towards a very special friendship. 


	4. Chapter 4

**New York, 2012**

“Jeremy,” Darcy greeted with a small nod, her gaze fixed on the computer screen. 

“Darcy,” A tall green-eyed man with a pointy chin answered, stepping into the lab. The man was currently wearing a green grandpa sweater, looking impossibly nerdy in Darcy’s opinion.

Before Darcy could even start asking him questions, Jane walked over, surprisingly put together for the ‘friendly dinner’ they had scheduled a week ago. Darcy felt her eyebrows raise in surprise, but managed to stay silent after being subjected to Jane’s murderous gaze, daring her to say anything. 

“You look nice,” the man said after a pause.

 _‘Smooth. Real smooth’_ thought Darcy, rolling her eyes at his tone.

“Thanks!” Jane squeaked, sounding way too nervous for a casual meal with a friend. “Are you ready?”

“Yes,” he said. “We have to be there at 8.”

“Let’s go, then,” Jane reached for the door, and just then Darcy noted she was wearing her favorite pair of heels, not something she did very often. “Darcy, can you-”

“I already mailed it. It should be here on Monday.”

“And the-”

“Done. Pam promised to get it done in a few hours,” Darcy reassured with a smile. “Jeremy please take her out of this lab before she decides to science for another ten hours. Please.”

“Thanks Darcy, I’ll get her out of your hair now,” the man reached towards the door and held it open for Jane.

“Bye, Darcy” Jane said sarcastically. 

“Have a good night!” She yelled while Jeremy made his way down the hall. 

Jane kept looking back just a second longer, and Darcy couldn’t pass up the chance to make kissy faces at them. Laughing quietly to herself, and happy to have made Jane smile, she poured herself a second cup of coffee from the carafe sitting at the other side of the lab.

Darcy was truly happy Jane had started to see someone again. Although brief, she knew her time with Thor had left a big impact on Jane and her perception of relationships, so watching her reaching out to another human being was nice. She just hoped their first date would turn out okay, and maybe they could take a step towards a serious relationship.

“Miss Lewis,” a voice came from her right, making her almost drop her cup in surprise. 

“Damn, Agent-Man. Give a girl some warning!” She exclaimed and turned around, facing a rather unimpressed looking Agent Coulson.

“I did, and you didn’t answer my last email.”

“Well, when things start with ‘per my last email’ I usually stop reading.”

“If you had,” he handed her what Darcy liked to call a standard MIB folder. “You’d have noticed your one-year contract is due for renewal.”

“Already?” she asked in surprise, opening the folder and skimming through the pages inside. 

Darcy couldn't believe a year had passed since she started working for SHIELD, but proof was staring right back at her and apparently she needed to sign it before Friday. 

Jane’s research had expanded beyond their initial expectation and they were now assigned to a bigger lab, with way more machines for Jane to experiment with and the newest and shiniest version of whatever computer Darcy requested. 

“Yes,” he said looking incredibly at ease in one of the lab chairs. “HR asked me to remind you about it.”

“And since when do I warrant a personal visit from you?” 

“I owe a few favors,” he said, handing her a pen resting on top of her desk table. “Now, if you will,” he gestured to the contract sitting on the table between them.

“Let me read it first,” she closed the folder with a quiet snap. “I wouldn’t want to sell my kidneys by accident.”

“We have no need for anyone’s organs,” Agent Coulson said while standing up. “But I’d suggest you read all the clauses, just in case.”

“And that’s not creepy at all,” she bit a smile back and thanked him for bringing her the documents. 

“Bring them down by seven hundred at the latest.”

“Will do!” she promised, bringing the folder closer to where she was sitting.

“We look forward to having you here for another year,” was the last thing he said before he disappeared through the door just as quietly as he had come. 

Being in the same room as Agent Coulson was cool, in the sense of watching that man micromanage was a thing of beauty, but it was also terrifying as you never wanted to be on his bad side. 

Coffee in hand, Darcy settled in for a late night of work and hopefully she’d have time to review her contract before tomorrow.

***

Darcy couldn’t resist the urge to scoff at the blond man on the screen who has yet to realize he has a zombie behind him. Reminding herself to stop watching horror films so late at night again, she drew back her attention to the beanie she was currently knitting. She already had finished the seam, and was slowly working her way up. 

Stifling a scream, she jumped almost a foot in the air when she heard three sharp raps on her living room window. Shoving her knitting to the side, and armed with the baseball bat she kept beside the TV for these kinds of situations, she walked slowly to the window and let out a sigh of relief once she recognized Clint’s familiar profile perching outside.

“There’s a door, y’know,” she said tugging the window open.

“Where’s the fun in that?” He shrugged inside and smiled cheekily in return.

Darcy gestured to the living room, “Can I get you something? Coffee maybe?”

“I’m good, Darce.”

“What brings you here so late?” She walked over to the couch and resumed her knitting, knowing Clint would follow her.

“Special project,” he answered from his spot. 

“Special project?” Darcy repeated, not sure what he expected her to answer to that.

Clint’s slouched position seemed relaxed, but she could easily spot the tension running around his arms and shoulders. 

“Yep,” she thought he sounded a little off, but she didn’t comment on the fact. “And, I’m going to see an old friend of yours.”

“Do I know someone on SHIELD’s radar?” 

“Dr. Selvig would be pretty mad you’ve forgotten about him already.”

“Erik!” She exclaimed, delighted. “I haven’t heard from him in ages!”

“He’s doing fine,” he reassured. “Fury has his A-team working full time with him.”

“Oh,” she laughed and went to the kitchen to grab some coffee. “I bet he’s having the time of his life on Fury’s team.”

Her phone rang abruptly, ending the conversation for now. Looking down at her phone, she recognized instantly the spider emoji adorning her screen and answered almost immediately. 

“Darcy,” Natasha greeted from the other side of the line. “Tell Clint to get his ass here in twenty or I’m letting him do all the training sessions alone for a month.”

“Low blow, Natasha,” she grinned. “Baby agents don’t deserve that much hate.”

“Tell that to Coulson the next time you see him,” Clint said, standing directly behind her nursing his own cup of coffee.

Startled, she turned around and did her best to glare at him, but she knew her look had no real effect. Turning her phone on speaker, she said “He says he’ll be there in ten!”

“Aww, Darcy, no” he said before spilling half of his coffee on himself. “Nat’s a bad influence on you.”

“I am the _best_ influence for Darcy,” Natasha corrected smugly. “And _you_ better be here before Coulson notices you didn’t fill the pre-mission report,” she added before hanging up the phone. 

“Crap,” Clint made a dash for the window and returned after a second to lightly peck her on the cheek. “See you Darcy.”

“Take care, Clint,” she said finally and slumped once again on the couch, hopefully to finish her movie before going to bed.

She heard a chuckle and then the snap of her window told her he’s gone for now.


	5. Chapter 5

**New York, 2012**

For the first time in her life, Darcy found herself stunned speechless by what she was hearing on the other side of the line.

“We are… leaving?” She asked incredulously, almost choking on her breakfast cereal. “When… I mean where… why?”

“This is an order Miss Lewis,” Agent Coulson answered, an angry undertone to his voice. Darcy’s line of thoughts stopped dead in their tracks hearing his voice, realizing that things were serious enough to break Agent Coulson’s usually calm demeanor.

“Cool your heels, Agent,” she got up and grabbed her duffel bag from the bottom of her closet. “Is everything okay?”

“Dr. Foster has been asked to act as a consultant for the Observatory in Tromso.”

“Does Jane even know?” Darcy asked as she began shoving whatever clean clothes she could find in her drawers into the bag. “She was still at her place when I talked to her earlier.”

“She is being notified at the moment.”

“Okay,” she went to the bathroom and grabbed her toiletries, packing them into a small bag. “I’ll take a cab and I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“No need. There’s a car outside your building,” he said, his voice back to his normal tone. “Agent Thomas should arrive there shortly. Do not open your door to anybody and do not engage in any sort of contact with others.”

“Seriously?” She asked, running a comb through her tangled hair, and tying it into a ponytail as fast as she could. “Should I expect some Men in Black to pick us up from the lab?”

“I will be there with support to coordinate the logistics.”

“Bye then, Secret Agent Man.”

“Take care, Darcy.”

“You too, Phil. Whatever is going on I’m sure you’ll have it under control in no time.”

“I can only hope, Miss Lewis.”

As the line went dead, she ran through her apartment leaving a complete mess behind her as she tried to pack as much as she could for her and Jane. Knowing her, she’d probably end up forgetting to pack the essentials in her rush to get to the lab sooner.

Grabbing her keys and purse last, she made a last minute decision and walked into her bedroom again. Once there she took the little red envelope hidden between the pages of the book she was reading and left her apartment immediately after.

It was just after eight when Darcy and the agent assigned to pick her up made it into SHIELD’s parking lot. It was also the second time in less than twelve hours she has entered the building, but this time everything was different. Nervous energy could be felt everywhere, the few faces she recognized were set into firm frowns, all personnel scurrying quickly to their designed task, a sense of urgency in their steps.

Once in the lab, she easily spotted Jane ordering around a pair of scared-looking interns, who typed everything she said as fast as they could on their tablets. The astrophysicist was busy shoving equipment into some boxes, and Darcy could see that there were tools of various sizes scattered all over the lab benches. 

“Darcy,” Jane greeted after finally noticing her. “Can you help me with this?” she asked, gesturing to the heavily modified telescope she was currently dismantling. 

“Right on it,” she shot back, and grabbed a screwdriver from the nearest table. 

Both worked silently for a few moments, and made a quick work of the rest of the equipment Jane wanted to take with them. Boxes started piling up by the door and with the help of the two interns they had everything ready before long.

Just as Agent Coulson had promised earlier, agents came into the lab to help them settle their equipment in the quinjet assigned for them and a few other scientists working on SHIELD’s payroll. 

“Is that everything we are taking?” She asked, counting exactly six small boxes.

“Yep,” Jane replied. “Do-”

“Dr. Foster, Miss Lewis,” Agent Coulson interrupted their conversation as he approached them. “Are you ready to go?”

“All set,” Jane confirmed with a firm nod. “I am needed for a last minute check-in, please excuse me.”

Jane’s frosty behaviour toward Coulson was no news to Darcy. After New Mexico, she and Erik resented his team for how they had handled their research and almost destroyed their careers. Darcy, ever the peace-maker, was willing to give the agent a second chance after Clint vouched in his favor multiple times, just as Natasha had.

“Secret Agent Man, it’s good to see you.” 

“It is good to see you too Miss Lewis. I trust you have everything ready?”

“We are good,” she confirmed. “But before you take off, I wanted to give you this.” She handed him the small red envelope with a smile.

“What is this?” he asked, the tension in his shoulders easing a little once he opened it. “How did you know I didn’t have it?” He wondered, staring at the picture of a crying baby being held by a smiling Captain America 

“Clint might have let something slip and a few lab-rats owned me a favor. I am giving it to you now because I don’t know if I’ll see you for your birthday.”

“Thank you, Darcy. This means a lot.”

“Only for you, Phil. Only for you.”

***

The observatory in Tromso was big enough to keep Jane happy playing around with all the shiny toys they had. Still, the itchy feeling in the back of Darcy’s brain refused to go, knowing that something was off.

Just seconds before the quinjet took off, she received a text from Natasha instructing her not to contact Clint by any means. As creepy as it was, the short text did nothing to ease her fear and made her worry even more. She resisted the urge to call back and ask her about what was going on, telling herself that any distraction could put them in danger. 

The supposed urgency for the consultation was a moot point, as she was pretty sure Jane could have solved half the problems they had with just a phone-call. The astrophysicist realized that too, but refused to pass up the chance to gather all the data they had access to. Machines of all sizes covered the floor, and Jane was happy to explore as much as she could.

Hours passed at an agonizingly slow pace in this lab. 

They were forced to keep wearing the heavy coats they were given at the beginning of their trip even inside the building, as the glass structure did nothing to preserve heat. Both women chose the smallest corner of the lab to settle, thankful for the small heater installed for them.

A full day passed with no news from SHIELD. Darcy decided to give it a few more hours before contacting someone, but her patience was wearing thin and the fear piercing the back of her brain was still there.

Just then, a startled gasp interrupted her inner musings. 

“Darcy,” Jane called her, “look at the news!”

Words escaped her as she stared unblinkingly at the screen. The news was live-streaming  images of New York city completely in shambles and being attacked by some sort of giant creatures.

The images were getting worse and worse with each minute that passed. Iron Man and someone dressed as Captain America were featured in the first shot, followed by Thor -they were both surprised he was there after not hearing from him at all for quite some time. 

Next, a green blur could be seen jumping from building to building and grabbing those creatures before smashing them to the ground. The Hulk seemed small compared to the largest of those creatures, telling them just how big they must be in real life.

After a while, she closed her watering eyes to relieve some of the strain, laying her head on the desk and letting her mind wander.

Darcy had known the gist of SHIELD’s line of work and had witnessed them in action in New Mexico. But that didn’t even compare in the slightest to this. The scenes unfolding on the TV were almost pulled right out of a science fiction movie. 

Her mini breakdown was interrupted by the sudden reminder that she had not heard from Clint in a while. He normally texted her every few days, but it had been at least two weeks since she last heard from him. Natasha’s text did nothing to calm her, and now that she knew SHIELD was involved in this, she was pretty sure both spies were right in the middle of it. 

Clutching Jane’s hands between hers, both sat next to each other in front of the TV screen, praying to the universe that their friends and home would be safe.


	6. Chapter 6

**New York, 2012**

Her move back to New York after their quick relocation to Norway was not what she had expected. The flight took two hours longer than the first time around and they were the only civilians occupying the quinjet.

Both women had gotten less than two hours of sleep last night, so she knew she should be sleeping right now. But every time she closed her eyes, the news feed played over and over again, eating at her insides. 

As soon as they set foot outside the quinjet, they were whisked away to the medical bay. Darcy thought it was a little excessive, knowing the worst that could have happened to them was catching a cold. They waited for at least twenty minutes before their check up was done, and finally they were free to go with a promise to rest a few hours and to not come back to work until tomorrow.

“Why isn’t anyone telling us anything about what happened?” Jane asked, looking way more awake after grabbing a cup of coffee from their favorite breakroom.

“I am honestly afraid to know,” she admitted. “I knew aliens existed because of Thor, but this was just too much.”

Darcy immediately regretted mentioning the Asgardian as soon as the strange look passed over Jane’s eyes. 

“Look, Jane,” she said, placing a hand over hers. “I’m sure he has a good reason for not contacting us and he prob-”

“He doesn’t owe me anything,” Jane whispered, casting her eyes downwards. 

“Oh, Janie. If there were ever sparks in the history of romantic sparks, you and Thor could have started a wildfire between you two.” 

Cheeks slightly pink, Jane pushed her cup aside. “Well, it seems we are not getting any news here apart from what the media have published.”

“Are you suggesting we go home?”

“There’s nothing for us to do here, and we could both use some rest.”

“That we do, Boss Lady. We’ll deal with the crazy tomorrow.”

***

In the beginning of Darcy’s junior year at college, she stumbled across a collapsed building near campus. She remembered faintly the smell of smoke and dustiness coming from the remains of the building, making her wonder how it had come to this in the first place. 

She was immediately reminded of that sensation as they passed through the streets. 

Once vibrant with colors and full of people, the streets were hauntingly empty and covered in rubble and dust covered almost every surface. 

The trip to her small apartment was spent in silence in the back of the car HR had assigned to them for transportation. The agent behind the wheel had a large gash on the side of his head, and refused to talk about how it had happened. The black sedan passed inconspicuously through the city, which still had some rubble, and many buildings had been damaged a great deal.

They both decided her place was the best option for them after being notified that the roads leading up to Jane’s apartment were damaged.

Her building seemed mostly intact except for a few scratches on the surface. Thanking her lucky stars for keeping her home in one piece, they went up immediately and settled in for some much needed rest. Having slept in the same bed many times before, they easily fell asleep next to each other not even bothering to change clothes.

The sudden urge to drink water woke up Darcy a few hours later. It took her a moment to realize she was home and the first thing that came into focus were the glowing numbers of her digital clock, informing her that it was 2:14 AM. 

“Darcy?” Jane groaned sleepily beside her. 

“Just wanted some water, Jane. Go back to sleep,” she said with a yawn, and rolled out of the covers into the cold air of the night. Seconds later Jane fell asleep again, her head deeply burrowed in the mattress. 

Grabbing her phone for some light, she stepped out of the room and went into the kitchen still half asleep. Her eyes were bleary and swollen from the trip and the kink in her shoulders was going to be a pain to deal with in the morning. 

Glass in hand, she intended to go back to her room and sleep for another few hours but the chirping of her phone stopped her. 

The text was simple, telling her to ‘call me’ from the number with the spider emoji. Deciding against waiting until it was a more reasonable time, she pushed the call button and waited for Natasha to answer her phone.

“Hi, Nat,” Darcy took a sip of water. “What’s up?”

“Hello, Darcy,” Her voice sounded tired. “I didn’t expect you to call so soon.”

“I got up to drink some water and got your text,” she yawned into the phone. 

“I’m sorry to have interrupted your sleep.”

“Nah, I was already awake, Nat. How are you doing?”

“All things considered, we are fine,” she sounded unsure and the distinct sound of steps against a metal surface could be heard.

“Where are you?” Darcy asked, sitting on one of the kitchen stools. Then, she started a pot of coffee, not knowing how much longer she’d be awake enough to sustain a conversation. 

“Right outside.”

Her head snapped up, and her brain couldn't decide between an exclamation of surprise and a yawn. Hanging up the phone, she got up from her seat and went to open the window without bothering to turn on the light. Shadows hid most of Natasha’s figure, who did a remarkable impression of a wall spider hanging from her fire escape like that.

“Thanks,” Natasha entered with her usual grace and silent steps. 

“How are you not even wearing a jacket?” Darcy closed the window with a quiet snap and ushered the redhead to the kitchen where her coffee machine was already boiling a fresh pot of much needed caffeine.

“I’m Russian,” she said, the ghost of a smirk pulling at the corners of her lips. “I don’t get cold.”

Once in the light of the kitchen, Darcy spotted some recently healed cuts on her face and neck. The side of her neck sported a rather impressive bruise, roughly the size of a palm. 

“Nat!” Darcy exclaimed now completely awake, “How are you even here right now?! You should be resting!”

“I am fine,” she reassured her. “Looks worse than it is.”

Darcy rolled her eyes at her answer, and tried not to fuss too much on her wounds. There were so many questions she wanted to ask about what had happened these last few days, but the bags under Natasha’s eyes told her just how exhausted she was. 

“I honestly doubt it, but okay,” she went and grabbed two mugs from the shelf and filled them to the brim with coffee, pouring two spoons of sugar in each cup. “Well, not that I don’t like the company, but this hour is odd even for you.” 

After a long moment Natasha took a deep breath and seemed to struggle for words. 

Darcy had never seen her like this, as she always seemed so sure about herself and the way she expressed things. Placing her hand on top of Natasha’s and tracing lazy circles with her thumb she waited for the spy to find the right words for what she wanted to say. Normally Natasha was not big on physical contact, but the almost imperceptible furrow of her brow and the rigidness of her posture were clear signs of distress. 

“Whatever it is, Nat, it’s okay. I’m here to listen.”

“We were both _there_ ,” she began, her voice tight. “We were part of a special team, formed to fight Thor’s brother.”

“Loki?” She asked surprisedly.

“You know about him?” Natasha looked up from her cup, shadows crossing her eyes.

“Thor mentioned his brother a lot when we were in New Mexico, she explained. “He said he liked to pull pranks on him when they were kids.”

“He wanted to take over the world.”

“ _What?!_ ” Her breath escaped her lungs and she could only now begin to imagine what kind of disaster had just happened. “ _Fucking hell._ ”

"I shouldn't be telling you about this, Darcy. I'm sorry."

"Oh, Nat… I am sorry you had to go through something like that," Darcy clutched her hand softly. “How’s everyone? I saw some footage and the news was all over the place…. How’s Clint dealing with this? What about Coulson?”

Her questions were followed by complete and utter silence on Natasha’s part. 

If Darcy had blinked, she’d have missed the split second it took the redhead to reign in all her emotions and erase all the pain from her brow. A few heartbeats passed and Darcy felt her gut wrench in dread, fearing the worst possible news. 

“Not everybody made it,” Natasha’s voice was tight, almost brittle. “Some agents were lost in the fight.”

For the second time that night she found herself at a loss for words.

“Darcy,” Natasha said quietly, eyeing the empty cup resting peacefully on the counter and running her fingers over the rim. “Clint was kidnapped during the first attack and he was forced to do horrible things. His mind was not his own, he-” she broke down and this time Darcy didn’t hesitate to take her in her arms.

“Oh, Nat… Nat,” she stroked her hair softly. “He’ll be fine. I’m sure of it.”

“You don’t know that, nobody does,” She pulled away from her embrace and blinked away the moistiness from her eyes. “Loki made him and Dr. Selvig help him build the portal to bring his army.”

“Erik was there too?” Her eyes widened, and she immediately felt bad for not asking about his well being. “Oh, fuck. Jane’s gonna freak out when she finds out.”

“He’s currently in medical,” she said, careful to maintain her voice even.

“He was hurt?” Darcy interrupted.

“Not physically, but his mind… Loki used unknown technology to induce hypnosis over Dr. Selvig and Clint,” she explained. “Both were extremely compliant to his orders for at least a few days, but they were able to break the connection.” 

“They were mind-controlled? How is that even possible?”

“Nobody really knows,” she shifted her weight in her seat, probably trying to release a bit of the tension coursing through her body. Darcy knew this was all she was getting from her, and she also knew Natasha was telling her more than she strictly needed to know.

“Can I see them?” she asked, refilling both cups with fresh coffee.

“That’s why I came to see you, Darcy,” she cast her eyes downwards. “Clint is in a bad place, he refuses to see anyone but I know he’d like to see you.”

“I’d love to check up on him, Nat,” she took a long sip from her cup to give herself time to think about the next words coming out of her mind. “But I don’t know how much help I’d be, I’m no doctor, and I’d hate to hurt him by accident.”

“You won’t,” she said firmly.

“I-”

“You won’t,” she repeated and stood up from her seat to face Darcy directly. “Listen to me, Darcy. I am sure you can get through him and help him in ways nobody else can, not even me.”

“You really think so?” She asked after a few silent moments.

“I do,” she answered with the smallest of smiles. “I have seen him at his worst and believe me when I say that what he needs the most now is a friend.”

“He’s lucky to have you, y’know.”

“I do. And we’re both lucky to have you.”

“Right,” Darcy blushed scarlet and let her loose hair cover her face in embarrassment.


	7. Chapter 7

**New York, 2012**

Trekking up the stairs of her apartment building at three and a half in the morning was the last thing Darcy expected to do after she set foot in New York again. 

The journey to the roof felt unnaturally long and the eerie silence of the night did nothing to ease her worries. One step led to another and once at the top, the rattling sound of the metal door opening alerted the roof’s only occupant of her sudden arrival. 

“Clint.”

The man in question was precariously perched on the edge of the roof, his posture almost impossibly still. Approaching slowly, she stopped right behind him and settled her tote bag on the floor, careful to not make any startling sounds.

“Chocolate?” She offered after pouring some from the thermos she had brought with her. Sitting next to him, she left the offered cup next to him and poured herself another cup before taking a long sip and enjoying the richness from the warm drink. 

The talk she shared with Natasha moments earlier had left her craving for something sweet, and she had first hand experience on the healing power of hot chocolate. Every time she was feeling down, no matter the weather or the time, her grandmother would whip up her favorite concoction, letting her know she was there for her.

Darcy knew mind control and half a million other things were running through Clint’s mind at the moment, so she stayed silent and thought about what to say carefully. 

As she had been told the short version of the events leading up to the giant disaster that had happened just a few days ago, Darcy was left with half-truths and a lot of unanswered questions. The wounds were a little too raw to continue asking for information. 

After Natasha confessed Clint was up in the roof, afraid to go into her apartment, she hadn’t hesitated for even a second before getting everything ready to go up and see how he was doing. 

Darcy also suggested the redhead stay in her apartment in case she needed help with Clint later, but also because she wanted her to rest somewhere she felt safe enough to sleep. The bags under Natasha’s eyes were worrisome, and she was pretty sure the redhead wouldn’t sleep before knowing Clint was in safe hands. 

Jane would remain asleep at least for a few hours more, giving her enough time to go back her place and get ready for the day.

“Natasha sent you up?” He spoke after a while.

“No,” she answered truthfully. “I came here because I wanted to, not because she asked me to.”

They both remained silent after that, but Darcy decided to talk again before she lost her courage. 

“I used to find Jane up the roof of the car dealership all the time,” she said. “We didn’t really have evidence of extraterrestrial life before Thor, and after he was gone, our entire world went upside down. Alien gods are not something I ever expected to deal with, like… ever.”

Sighing deeply, she continued. “Then SHIELD came and Jane was happy to have access to all the resources she’d been denied before, and to finally stop dealing with all the old dudes who talked crap about her theories in the past. I thought it was crazy, to be sucked into this world of a secret government agency, and secrets and stuff… I honestly never imagined my life going this way, but I guess my Nana was right when she told me I always find my way to trouble.”

Clint stayed silent, but Darcy saw the smallest movement of his lips, clearly refraining from saying something. He finally took the offered cup and sipped into it slowly, his movements were almost mechanical.

“Thanks for the drink,” he offered while placing the empty cup in the exact same spot. 

“Anytime,” she said picking up the empty cup, and slid a few inches closer to him. 

Now that he was within reach, Darcy squinted and took the first real look at him. Dark circles marred his eyes, and there were a few scrapes on his forehead and cheeks. But what worried Darcy the most was the lack of light in his gaze, his usually playful eyes dull and filled with pain. 

“Whenever you want to talk, I am here,” Darcy whispered sadly and took his hand in hers, curling herself into his side.

“This is very fucked up, isn’t it?” he laughed humorlessly, and tightened his hold on her. 

“It is,” she admitted and closed her eyes for a bit.

For now, she’d just live the moment and take comfort in Clint’s presence next to her. She didn’t know what the future would hold, but for now, she was content to be safe at home and with the people she cared about the most next to her. 

***

“You okay?” She asked, and knocked softly on the bathroom’s door where Clint was currently emptying his stomach. 

“Yeah,” he croaked, not sounding even slightly fine. Another retching sound could be heard and the muffled curses made Darcy grip the handle tighter, with all the intention of going in. 

She opened the door only to find him bent over the toilet bowl, his face sickly pale and covered in sweat. 

She knew this had nothing to do with the food they had earlier, because his body was shaking too much for it to be a simple food poisoning spell. 

His face still had the ghost of the nightmare that had woken him up from his nap. 

Night terrors were a common thing for him now. She knew for a fact that he slept as little as two hours at a time, and that was only when exhaustion was too much for him to handle. He’d run days without sleeping and he spent most of his free time holed up in his apartment in Bed-Stuy or visiting her. 

The couch on her living room became his favorite spot to sleep, and Darcy didn’t have it in her to deny him a little comfort. He had crashed there after a long training session with SHIELD’s newest recruits, which was also only the second time he was back in base after medical had cleared him for active duty. 

Nearly three months after New York, Clint’s recovery had come a long way, but he was far from being the man he was before. 

“Clint…,” she rubbed his back earnestly, trying to soothe him. “Everything's gonna be fine, Clint.”

“I can’t...” he gasped, doubling over to vomit again. “I can’t... I… I can’t.”

Darcy moved closer and pressed her hand gently against his ribcage, massaging the strained muscles she knew must be hurting now. 

His body continued to spasm for a few more minutes, panic running through his veins making it almost impossible for him to speak. Desperate gasps for air escaped his lips, and Darcy could only continue to rub his back in a lukewarm attempt to console his troubled mind. 

“It was a dream, Clint,” she whispered once he had calmed down enough to breathe deeply. “You are here, safe.”

“Sorry about your bathroom,” he apologized after taking a few deep breaths.

“Don’t worry,” she reassured. “I have some fresh tea to help settle your stomach ready. Come on.” She helped him to his feet and half-dragged him to her room after he rinsed his mouth with mouthwash.

Once settled, she shushed his protests against using her bed. His words died quickly on his lips, already weakened by the panic attack he just experienced and the sheer strength it took him to move from the bathroom to her room. He watched her step out of her room with half lidded eyes, the lack of sleep making him groggy. 

She made a quick work of pouring a cup of tea and bringing it back to her room. She half-expected him to be asleep and get some rest, but she wasn’t surprised to find him awake. He was propped up against the headboard, his gaze fixed on the ceiling. 

“Here.” She placed the cup on the bedside table and sat on the other side of the bed. “I know you don’t like chamomile, but I got a really nice herbal mix in that store I told you about the other day.”

“The one with the pink flamingo on display?”

“Questionable décor aside, they sell really good things.” 

Her comment won a quick quirk of lips that disappeared so soon it might as well never have happened. Thanking her, he grabbed the cup and stared into its contents for a while before drinking its content. 

“Ooff,” he said after taking a sip. “It’s hot.”

He took a few more sips from the cup and Darcy took the opportunity to check her phone, giving him some time to gather his thoughts. 

“How are you feeling, Clint?” 

“Awful,” he admitted truthfully and finished his tea. “I can’t… get him out of my head. Every time I dream it’s like being there again and it feels so real, Darce…”

“It was a nightmare, but you are okay now,” she said and placed a hand on his forehead to check if he had a fever. 

His eyes were vivid portraits of the conflict going on inside his head. She saw him struggle, trying to express what was troubling him, but words seemed to escape him and the frown on his forehead darkened considerably. 

He has been noticeably drawn back since SHIELD released him from a quick health check up. It was the first time he had opened up about his feelings, so she watched his face unsure of whether he was going to completely disregard what had just happened or lie about how he was coping with everything. 

“I almost gave you and Nat up,” he said after a while. Gulping, he continued, “I knew where SHIELD had sent you and Foster. I knew Natasha was in the helicarrier.” He shuddered,“ Fuck, I was so close, Darcy. He was in my head and I couldn’t stop him.”

“Don’t do this to yourself, Clint,” she begged, cuping the side of his face with her right hand.

“I took him to the Helicarrier and led him to Coulson…”

And there it was, the subject she dreaded the most broaching. 

Agent Coulson’s death was a sore subject at work, but at home, amongst those who knew the real Phil Coulson behind the suit, it was almost impossible to talk about. Both Clint and Natasha had known the man for more than a decade, and together they were a team that went above and beyond anyone’s expectations. 

His passing was hard for all of them, but Clint was hellbent on taking the blame for Loki’s attack. No matter how many times Darcy and Natasha tried to talk him out of his guilt, he couldn’t forgive himself for something that was out of his control. 

“ _I almost killed Nat._ ” His voice was filled with guilt and his eyes became glassy with unshed tears.

“Nat knew what she was doing.” Darcy let out a long breath before speaking again. “She wouldn’t have engaged otherwise. She cares for you, that’s why she did it.”

“It doesn’t make what I did any less awful.”

“It wasn’t you, Clint,” she said slowly and caressed the side of his face slowly with her thumb.

“That’s what she said.”

“Nat is a smart woman.” She smiled softly and settled against the mattress.

Both remained silent for what seemed for hours, and eventually sleep claimed their troubled minds. From the window, moonlight poured in, gifting them with a dreamless night next to each other.


	8. Chapter 8

**New York, 2012**

Darcy’s own return to work was sadder than she expected. 

She had caught herself multiple times pouring a second cup of coffee and walking down the long hall of offices to reach her destination, before stopping dead in her tracks and staring blankly at the second to last door on the right. The office remained closed at all times, and according to Natasha, all of Agent Coulson’s personal belongings were taken down and delivered to his last living relatives in a quiet, private ceremony.

Erick’s own recovery was slow, just like Clint’s, but his much older body had taken a greater hit. His frustration was what kept him from going back to the lab, leaving Jane and two other scientists to figure out what the diagrams he had designed during his capture meant. Loki had done a number on his mind, jumbling his thoughts beyond recognition. Now, he spent his days trapped in his own mind, just a shadow of the man he was before.

He was sent to a mental facility in London, where he received treatment, and according to SHIELD, he’d be safe from harm. 

As for Jane, she returned to her research and their routine fell back into place one step at a time. 

There were mountains of raw data left from the opening of the portal above Stark Tower, at least a hundred things they still hadn’t named, and thousands of weapons left from the battle. 

The alien technology was a sight to behold. There was no match for the materials they were made of on Earth and the designs were so complex it took days to pick apart a single circuit. Still, Jane’s excitement about everything was contagious and Darcy found herself happy to be in the labs with her.

***

“How the hell are you still awake?” Darcy wondered after checking the time on her phone. It was nearing nine p.m on a Friday night, and she knew Jane had been here since yesterday morning. 

“I have like two more hours to go,” Jane answered from her spot, never tearing her gaze away from the Geiger Counter she was dismantling.

“You said that two hours ago.” 

“Let me just finish this,” she insisted, using her ‘I know you are right but I won’t acknowledge it’ tone. 

“You still have to go through your grant application before you submit it,” Darcy reminded her. “And you still haven’t asked your mom about the house.”

“That’s not until the 27th.”

“I know. Today’s the 25th.”

“Oh,” she said, sounding surprised. “Already?”

“Yup,” Darcy smiled and took the screwdriver from Jane’s hand, placing it on top of the lab bench next to the other tools. “We really should leave if we want to sleep at some point tonight.”

“Let’s get some dinner on the way,” Jane suggested, leaving everything as it was on the bench and shrugging on her coat.

“Now that’s more like it, Janey!” Darcy grabbed her things and made sure to turn off all computers and equipment.

“Have you seen my phone?”

“At the bottom of the toolbox.”

“How did you even know that?” Jane asked, perplexed. 

“Because you said it was annoying you so much it deserved to be there this morning,” Darcy laughed. “I tried to talk you out of it, in case you received an important call or something. You didn’t really listen.”

“I honestly don’t remember.”

“Oh,” Darcy giggled again. “I can’t blame ya, you were too busy making googly eyes at Jeremy.”

“Now I know you are lying. I don’t make googly eyes.”

“That’s what you think,” Darcy said, and both stepped out of the lab and into the long empty corridor leading up to the row of elevators on the far right. 

“I don’t,” Jane insisted.

“Sure, Jane... sure.”

***

“You found it already?” Darcy asked, emerging from the bathroom after a quick change of clothes. 

“No,” Jane sighed and closed her eyes. “I swear I had it here somewhere.”

“Why don’t you ask your mom for another copy?”

“I am not _that_ desperate.” 

“Oh, really?” Darcy said, sitting down next to Jane on the floor. 

“Yes,” she rolled her eyes and continued ruffling through the mountain of papers. “And I’d like to know why SHIELD needs all of this paperwork… shouldn’t they have all this information already? They have access to everything.”

“Because there was a clause in our contract saying that we would provide all personal information willingly,” Darcy answered, pulling a stack of papers from under the coffee table.

“Ugh.”

“How cavewoman of you,” Darcy teased, and grabbed her own handful of papers from the stack.

“There’s no way SHIELD is covering for living expenses outside of their property and the board won’t accept my application if I don’t guarantee a place to stay.” 

“I know Jane,” Darcy said, tossing to the side a candy wrapping that somehow got mixed into the pile. “But have you at least talked to your mom about staying at her place?”

“I did, and she’s okay with everything.” 

“Then you are pretty much ready to go!” she exclaimed. Glancing over at her friend, she could see Jane didn't look happy at all, “Then why the long face?”

“You won’t be there,” Jane sat back, arms folded. 

“Aw, Jane, I’ll be there by June.” 

“But what if you like Contracts so much you ditch me?”

“There’s not enough cute post-it notes in the world to make me change you for a boring desk job.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely, Jane. Not even for the Totoro ones.”

Biting her lip, the astrophysicist lowered her eyes to her lap and stayed silent for a moment before speaking again. “But won’t you miss your friends?”

“Pam and Tish can skype me anytime,” Darcy reassured. “See? It’s not as if we’re moving permanently.”

“I wasn’t talking about them.” 

And there it was, the true reason behind Jane’s uneasiness. 

For all of her brilliance, Jane was incredibly awkward around people. For most of her academic career she was left alone by her colleagues and was treated as an underdog in her field. Her theories and studies were never taken seriously, save by Erik, who had known her father since they both were in college themselves. He was Jane’s only true friend before Darcy. 

“Then wh…,” Darcy wondered out loud, giving Jane a confused look. “You mean Clint and Nat?”

Pinching her lips together, Darcy carefully thought about her next words. She remembered clearly her days in school being teased by her peers and feeling lonely most of the time, only really having her Nana to rely on. 

“Even if we’re a million miles away we’re still friends, Jane,” she said, placing her right hand atop her’s in her lap. “I can’t believe after two alien invasions you still doubt that.”

“Friendship by shared trauma?” Jane asked in a small voice.

“You really are my best friend Jane, I wouldn’t dare be this weird with somebody else.” Darcy grinned, and hugged her friend with all her strength.

“You really are weird, Darcy.” Jane returned the hug with equal force. 

“I know,” she answered and both women dissolved into a fit of giggles. 

***

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr @tiffpandafan for feels and reblogs.


End file.
